Taipei, Taiwan.
It was 9:30 p.m. Slightly weighed down with fresh flowers, groceries, and a fat backpack, I stepped onto the subway at Taipei Main Station & sat down in the seat nearest to the door. But, as soon as my butt cheeks grazed the seat, a man to my right rapped hard me on the head with what felt like a large stick. He said with loud authority, "Stand up! That seat is saved for the elderly. Can't you read the sign?!" (No, actually, I can't read Chinese) I apologized and quickly stood up, grasping on to the railing as the subway had started to move. I glanced over. The Culprits: A dirty looking umbrella and a crabby-looking, middle-aged man.
Seconds later, I felt a tug on my sleeve and the tender voice of a man who had taken the seat next to me, telling me to sit down so that the empty seat doesn't go to waste. I thanked him and sat down, grateful. Little did I know that this simple act would spark a face off that would last halfway across town.
Apparently, ass-to-seat set the first man, we'll name Mr. Crab, off...as he immediately began lecturing loudly, "She should be forced to stand and made an example to everyone else on this train. Children these days don't know how to respect their elders. You just wait, society will essentially collapse because of kids like her (sporting a backpack & ponytail, apparently cut my age in half) are so poorly educated." He throws insults at the man, we'll call Mr. Nice. "You must have louts for kids. In fact, you're probably a lout, yourself."
Mr. Nice, fires back, "If there's an elderly person who's standing right now, I'll give up my seat right now." He stands up and looks around. "From what I see, this train is half-empty & all the elderly I know are in bed by now. From the looks of it you don't look so elderly yourself, so why don't you shut up and leave her alone!"
Mr. Crab sounds off, "Rules are meant to be followed. People follow rules in Japan, Europe & every other country. Taiwan should as well."
Mr. Nice quips, "Leave Japan to follow their rules and Taiwan alone. What kind of college did you go to? You couldn't have come out of a reputable university, because you're apparently brain-dead. I know, you must be from China, b/c no true Taiwanese would be so stupid." (Uh-Oh)
They go at it, switching between Taiwanese & Mandarin, their exchange becoming increasing heated. I didn't know whether to stay seated or stand up, but I don't think it really mattered at this point.
Somewhere in the tiff, a 3rd man, charges down the aisle, with his umbrella aimed directly at Mr. Crab. Angrily, he berates him in Taiwanese. 2-1
All convo on the train had ceased and all eyes were turned towards the escalating drama. Three men, executive types in full suits, sporting matching gold pins had been sitting across from me, watching quietly. But, now they stood up, motioned for me to move to their seat & jumped into the altercation. Unfortunately, with 4 beet-faced men now standing directly in front of me, I had little room to squeeze by them. Instead, I opted to avert my now saucer-sized eyes away from the scene & did my best to disappear into my seat. 5-1
One of the suited men grabs Mr. Crab by his jacket collar & starts shoving him repeatedly into his seat, spewing threats. This is a guess of course, since it was spoken in Taiwanese and sadly, Mandarin is my limit. However, gauging from the subway patrons and their gaping mouths, my educated guess is that his words were far from pleasant.
This debacle lasted 10 stations. Maybe it was the small, enclosed space, but it felt like an eternity. The national elections are next week, so it somehow turned in a huge political thing...green vs. blue...accusations of being anti-taiwanese, traitors, ect. It was ugly.
In the end, when the train had quieted back down, I was left with Mr. Crab & Mr. Nice. As Mr. Nice & I talked, Mr. Crab, rudely butted in. But, to my surprise, I found out that he hailed from Rowland Heights, California and spoke perfect English and was only here for the elections. Now, it was my turn to let him have it. Sure, I apologized, even thanking him for calling the rules to my attention. But...where does he get off, a visitor in Taiwan lecturing people here how to live? He couldn't in that pompous brain of his, have found a more respectful way to get my attention besides rapping me on the head with his dirty, friggin' umbrella? How ironic? With all his talk about respect, he actually thinks he has the right to discipline a perfect stranger, who might add, is not a child, but an adult, like himself. He apologized profusely, adding that he hoped to meet again. (Yea, right.)
I think I'll be walking a little more and riding the subways a little less. Too much testosterone on the underground train.
